By Anna Miars

Michelle Lara, 39, has been happily married for eight years. She and her husband, Zhang Yong, own an apartment in Falls Church, Va., and have a dog, Sadie. The only thing missing in their otherwise picture-perfect life is a child.

Lara and Yong met in Beijing, China, in 2003. Lara had spent the previous two years teaching English in Shanxi province before moving to Beijing in February 2002 to work at a Chinese-run magazine editing English language translations. Lara, born in Washington, D.C., and a first generation Guatemalan-American, met Zhang, born and raised in Beijing, through a mutual friend. They fell in love in a matter of months and were married in May 2003 in Beijing in a ceremony that combined Chinese and American traditions.

Zhang returned to the U.S. with Lara in 2004 and they settled in Falls Church, Va., near Lara’s parents. They bought a two-bedroom apartment with the idea of starting a family. If not right then, sometime in the relatively near future.

Lara and Zhang have been actively trying to get pregnant for nearly three years.

“We haven’t not been trying for about five years,” Lara said.

Lara wants to exhaust the possibility of getting pregnant naturally before considering in vitro fertilization (IVF). She is pursuing Chinese medicine as a next step after trying without any aid because of the continuing cultural influence of her husband and the time she spent in China and as well as a personal preference for homeopathic remedies.

“If you have an underlying problem that hasn’t really been found or solved, it’s not really addressed when you do IVF,” Lara said.

Traditional Chinese medicine, as practiced by Lara, has three parts: acupuncture, herbs and diet therapy. Each component seeks to strengthen the body and prepare it for pregnancy.

Acupuncture is timed around a woman’s menstrual cycle as are the intake of herbs. Lara sees Kerri Westhauser, L.Ac., for an hour treatment approximately three times a month. Westhauser also prescribes the herbs that Lara takes in liquid form six days a week. A pharmacy in New York City, Kamwo, mixes the herbs, vacuum seals them into two-serving packets and sends them to Lara via mail.

“The herbs have no redeeming qualities,” Lara said. “They’re really hard to take. The only good thing is that you take it in two doses. You divide it, half in the morning half in the evening. I think that’s probably the thing that makes it bearable.”

The diet Lara must adhere to is very restrictive. She can only eat small amounts of sugar, dairy and starch. Also, nothing cold, so everything, food and drink, must be warm, if not hot. She said that she finds it difficult to prepare a meal that meets these requirements when she’s in the workplace.

In just a few weeks, Lara will have been going to acupuncture, taking Chinese herbs and keeping a limited diet for a year, the amount of time it usually takes for traditional Chinese medicine to be effective. Lara will soon have to decide if she wants to move on to Western methods to conceive.

“If the desperation really gets to me I think we might try IVF,” said Lara. “I feel like I would do it just once. I’ve already had some fertility treatments, so I know what it’s like and I know how stressful it is, especially on your relationship. We have something really good and I wouldn’t want ruin it just because I want to have a child.”

Even so, Lara sometimes finds herself comparing her life to the lives of her friends and family. Despite her positivity and hopeful nature, it is difficult for her not to wonder “why me, why is this a problem for me?”

Lara continues to believe that she will eventually have a child one way or another.

I was at the gym this morning (my first real workout in 12 days!) and while I was stretching watched a personal trainer working with a fellow gym-goer. I got to thinking about the benefits of a personal trainer and whether working with one is worth the investment. They can be a great source of motivation as well as a wealth of knowledge when it comes to new exercises, tips on form and even suggestions about diet. Anyone who has worked with a trainer knows that they are like a personal cheerleader, pushing you toward success. It can sometimes be difficult to find the will and strength to lose those last few pounds or get out of a rut. Having another person to remind you of why you’re working so hard and why it’s worth continuing can be invaluable. They cheer you through those last five reps and give you a high-five when you’re done. While they’re pumping you up mentally they’re also helping to pump you up physically. Trainers help you get past your limitations and power through when you might have otherwise given up. Whenever I’ve worked with a trainer, I’ve been pushed harder and longer than I could have pushed myself on my own. They teach you exercises that are right for your body and variations on traditional exercises that really take your workout to new heights. Whether you’re new to exercise or you’re looking to take your fitness to the next level, personal trainers can be a key component in reaching your goals. But, are they really worth the money? Is it possible to get the same results (PDF) without a personal trainer?

It’s important to remember that every personal trainer is trying to sell you on their necessity. If you don’t like them or aren’t satisfied with their expertise, they know you won’t work with them again. It’s essential that they impress you from the beginning. Despite needing to honor their commitment to you as much as you honor your commitment to them, some trainers are flakey. They reschedule sessions at the last-minute or overbook and don’t give you the full amount of time that you’ve paid for and rightly deserve. These qualities won’t be immediately obvious, so some patience may be required if you decide to work with a trainer. When looking for a trainer, try to get recommendations. Also, ask about the ease of switching trainers in case you find yourself unhappy. For the price, you should not only be thrilled with the workout, but also with the person you’re working out with. Keep in mind that personal trainers are human too. They make mistakes just like you. This doesn’t mean you have to lower your expectations. You know what you need and what works best for you. Move on if you don’t feel like you’re getting the most out of the experience.

I’ve only worked with a trainer a couple of times in the past few years. They’ve been very helpful for short bursts, but then I often find I can carry on alone. Once I get set on the right path, the motivation and ability to figure out and try new exercises seems to come without the aid of a professional. Whether or not a personal trainer is absolutely necessary depends on the person. If you have the willpower and confidence to get yourself to the gym plus the drive to educate yourself, you’ll probably do fine without. There are endless resources online that can provide workout routines, tips and expert advice. Videos, pictorials and audio clips break down all the nuances that a trainer would explain. On the other hand, if you’re not sure about working out alone or guiding yourself, a trainer can be a great option. They can get you started or work with you long-term. Utilizing a trainer is really a personal choice. I think it’s great to work with one from time-to-time to help boost your workout results and go beyond your usual routine/comfort level. But, if money is tight or you’re just too skeptical, it’s definitely possible to find it within yourself to reach your goals. Often, digging deep and making something happen all on your own can provide the greatest sense of accomplishment!

Love Letters for Literacy is an annual event that benefits the Washington Literacy Council, one of the oldest adult literacy programs in the city. It was held on Tuesday, Feb 15, 2011, at Morton’s Steakhouse in Washington, D.C.

Love Letters for Literacy

*Note: The woman’s voice that is not self-identified is award-winning journalist, Cokie Roberts.

I came across an article this afternoon in The New York Times, “For Actresses, Is a Big Appetite Part of the Show?” To date, I’ve never thought about the fact that most magazine interviews with female celebrities include a portion (!) about what the actress/model/singer/etc. ate during the interview. It’s hard to miss the fact that conversations between writers and famous women almost always seem to take place over breakfast, lunch or dinner. “She walked in breezily and sat down at a booth in the back.” (My own rendition of the opening paragraph.) I always thought it was done that way to make the celebrity seem more human. Two people talking over food, a scene we can all relate to. Rather than on the set of a movie or in hair and makeup. Until I read this article, I didn’t realize the glaring spotlight on the food. Now that the wheels are turning, I can remember reading an interview with Jessica Biel that struck me. She ordered copious amounts of food (a bunch of different appetizers or small plates) at a New York City restaurant and at the end of the interview mentioned that she would put in an extra long workout the next day. I had trouble picturing someone with a body like hers in the entertainment industry so carelessly overindulging. Check out these excerpts from magazine interviews. Documented instance of public eating, or DIPE, coined by publicist Jeremy Walker, is now used to describe the phenomenon. I guess magazine want celebrities to come off as human not only in the sense of talking over food, but also eating what and how readers eat. As a pretty healthy eater and someone who works out a lot, I find it hard to believe that there isn’t any staging involved. While it may not be the magazine telling the celebrity to order big, the publicists and PR people behind the celebrity may be giving instructions.

Ultimately, the DIPE is meant to convey the impression that a starlet is relaxed, approachable and game, but it’s hard to tell whether the strategy really works anymore. Anna Holmes, a founding (and former) editor of Jezebel, a culture-deconstructing Web site that singles out women, casts a cold eye on such moments of documented feasting. “I’m usually pretty cynical about it,” she said. “When the writer has made special mention of what the actress is eating, especially if it’s something incredibly high-calorie or fattening, I do roll my eyes. Because I assume that it’s planted.”

I have to say that I agree with the quote above. Women in Hollywood don’t eat like truckers. Well, maybe some do, but the majority don’t have the metabolisms to keep up with that kind of eating (I certainly don’t). Again, it seems like this is just another tactic to bring celebrities down to the level of everyone else. Not that these women aren’t human or don’t enjoy a greasy hamburger every once in a while. Who doesn’t? But, let’s be honest. Celebrities are paid for their looks. Firm thighs, six-pack abs, toned calves, buff shoulders. The list goes on and on. Rather than trying to convince people that celebrities really do eat french fries and macaroni and cheese, interviews should strive to share the struggles of making healthy choices in a world full of temptation. Now, that’s a story we could all sink our teeth into.

The sore throat and cough I’ve had with this cold, have necessitated a lot of soup consumption. Luckily, I’m a big fan of soup. Right now, I’m eating cream of potato with bacon. My lunch, a Santa Fe salad from Chop’t, was a total bust. The dressing had way too much vinegar and made the whole thing pretty much inedible. Note to self: Never get the Spa Dijon again. A bad lunch is one reason for having soup. I also was having a coughing fit and needed something hot to help soothe my throat. I couldn’t bear another cup of tea. Even though I’m sick and need all the energy I can get, I’m trying to be mindful of my calorie intake. I’ve been very sedentary and I’m not exercising. Soups, much like salads are an item that most people taken for granted as healthy. While many soups do have a great deal of nutritional value, many are fatty, salty and highly caloric. As with anything else, you should evaluate nutrition information on a case-by-case basis. Some versions are healthier than others. Ingredients make all the difference. Cream-based soups raise an obvious red flag (cream of potato, I love you!), but can still be enjoyed in moderation. Broth-based soups are often the more waistline-friendly choice, but not always. High levels of sodium can cause bloat and dehydration. Chili often has a good deal of protein (both vegetarian and meat varieties), but can get bogged down with cheese. Oh and watch those Oyster crackers! Like croutons, don’t go overboard. Three take-aways: hearty= healthy (meaning the more veggies, beans and lean meats the better), homemade is always better than canned and read labels. Your taste buds and your thighs will thank you. Below are soup recipes that are so healthy and delicious, you might just want to have two servings (and that’s ok!). I’ve included the ingredients list. Click on the link to see the full recipe and nutrition analysis. Enjoy!

Tuscan White Bean Stew (I have a thing for cannellini beans)

Ingredients

For the croutons
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, quartered
1 slice whole-grain bread, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

2 cups dried cannellini or other white beans, picked over and rinsed, soaked overnight, and drained
6 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1 bay leaf
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 yellow onion, coarsely chopped
3 carrots, peeled and coarsely chopped
6 cloves garlic, chopped
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary, plus 6 sprigs
1 1/2 cups vegetable stock or broth

Three-Bean Chili

Ingredients

3/4 cup each dried cannellini or red kidney beans, black beans and Anasazi beans, picked over and rinsed, soaked overnight, and drained
4 cups water
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 large green bell peppers, roasted and seeded
2 large red or yellow bell peppers, roasted and seeded
3 tablespoons olive oil or canola oil
1 yellow onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon dried oregano
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
4 tomatoes, peeled and seeded, then diced
1/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro (fresh coriander)
6 tablespoons shredded queso asadero or Monterey Jack cheese
2 green (spring) onions, including tender green tops, thinly sliced

Fresh Tomato Soup with Crispy Herb Toasts

Ingredients

8 slices whole-grain baguette, 1/2-inch thick

1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
2 teaspoons chopped fresh oregano
4 teaspoons grated Parmesan cheese
4 tomatoes
2 teaspoons olive oil
1/2 small yellow onion, diced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 1/2 cups 1 percent low-fat milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Minestrone

Ingredients

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup chopped celery
1 carrot, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
4 cups fat-free, unsalted chicken broth
2 large tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1/2 cup chopped spinach
1 can (16 ounces) canned chickpeas or red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup uncooked small shell pasta
1 small zucchini, diced
2 tablespoons fresh basil, chopped

This recipe for chickpea and sausage soup looks great too!

Check out these sites for additional soup recipes:

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes_menus/collections/healthy_soup_recipes

http://allrecipes.com//Recipes/soups-stews-and-chili/Main.aspx

http://www.drgourmet.com/recipes/soup/index.shtml

I’ve had a pretty intense cold since Thursday. Sore throat, runny nose, congestion, coughing, the works. It’s been rough. Made worse, or at least not made better, by the fact that I’m allergic to acetaminophen (Tylenol) which is in just about every over-the-counter cold medicine. Today, I saw a physician to rule out strep throat. My test was negative for strep (thankfully), but that’s about all going to the doctor was good for. After listening to me rattle off my symptoms, she advised me to pick up some DayQuil on my way home. When I interrupted her to say that I’m allergic to Tylenol (this information was listed in my paperwork) she was very surprised. “Really, that’s too bad. DayQuil is perfect for treating the symptoms you described.” All I’m thinking is great, thanks for telling me what I already know. To make a long story short, she didn’t have any recommendations for non-Tylenol cold meds other than Sudafed and Ibuprofen. I’ve been taking those since Friday. Since I often have to turn to old school remedies, I thought I’d share some of my favorites here.

Hot tea with copious amounts of honey (1 to 1 ½ tablespoons). The honey thickens the tea and helps to soothe your throat but push down phlegm.

Gargle with saltwater. Add 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon of salt to an 8-ounce glass of warm water to temporarily relieve a sore or scratchy throat.

Chicken soup. Check out this explanation from the Mayo Clinic:

Generations of parents have spooned chicken soup into their sick children. Now scientists have put chicken soup to the test, discovering that it does have effects that might help relieve cold and flu symptoms in two ways. First, it acts as an anti-inflammatory by inhibiting the movement of neutrophils — immune system cells that participate in the body’s inflammatory response. Second, it temporarily speeds up the movement of mucus, possibly helping relieve congestion and limiting the amount of time viruses are in contact with the nose lining.

From www.instructables.com

Hot Toddy. An age-old night-time cold remedy, make a cup of hot herbal tea. Add a teaspoon of honey, a small shot of whiskey or bourbon, and a squeeze of lemon. This mixture may ease congestion, soothe the throat and help you sleep.

While these remedies may not be as effective as proven cold medicines, they do the trick when you don’t have other options. The upside? Each is tasty and enjoyable on the way down. Wishing everyone well and Happy Valentine’s Day!

If you’re like me, you spend a lot of time in front of a computer. Or, in my case, multiple computers. I go from eight hours at work to hours with my laptop at home. Sitting upright with your arms outstretched can put strain on your neck, shoulders and upper back. Beyond computer-related stiffness, I’m sick at the moment and my upper body is sore from coughing. Also, from extra hours spent in bed. Stretching not only feels good, but helps to relax the body and release toxins. Rolling your shoulders forward and backward is a good start. Range-of-motion exercises (slowly and rhythmically!) — tilting your head up and down, side to side, and rotating from ear to ear — to gently stretch the neck muscles can help too. Below are some additional stretches to help relieve tension. They can be done at your desk, sitting on your couch or even sitting up in bed just after waking up. Get stretching!

From http://www.luxfitness.com/back.htm

These stretches are from the University of South Carolina’s Environmental Health and Safety page:

Reaching Stretch

* Interlace your fingers out in front of you at shoulder height.
* Turn your palms outward as you reach forward.
* Hold for 5-10 seconds, then relax and repeat.

Overhead Stretch

* Interlace your fingers above your head.
* Turn your palms upward as you push your arms back and up.
* Hold for 5-10 seconds, then relax and repeat.

Shoulder Stretch

* Gently pull your elbow across your chest toward your opposite shoulder.
* Hold stretch for 5-10 seconds.
* Relax and repeat with other arm.

Chest and Back Stretch

* Clasp your hands behind your back.
* Slowly turn your elbows inward and straighten arms.
* Lift your arms up behind you until you feel a stretch.
* Hold for 5-10 seconds

Chair Rotation Stretch

* Sit in chair. Wrap feet around chair legs to stabilize your body.
* Reach across body and grab the back of the chair.
* Pull gently to increase the stretch in the middle of your back.
* Hold 5-10 seconds. Repeat reaching to opposite side.

Check out this WomenFitness.net article for a number of exercises that aim to increase neck flexibility and muscle control. Prevention is key!

To see the photograph, visit Tami Silicio’s website.

Tami Silicio used her Nikon Coolpix 3.2 megapixel digital camera to capture two images of the inside of a jet bound for Germany on Apr. 7, 2004.

One of the photographs, which ran on the front page of The Seattle Times on Sunday, Apr. 18, 2004, showed the flag-draped coffins of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq being secured for transport.

Taken at Kuwait International Airport, Silicio, then 50 and a Maytag Aircraft worker, was deeply moved by the conscientious treatment she observed.

“Something told me to just take several shots and put the camera away,” Silicio told the American Journalism Review.

Viewing the image about 12 hours later, Silicio sent the photograph to friend and former contractor Amy Katz. Touched by what she saw and wanting to pass it on, Katz e-mailed the photograph to Barry Fitzsimmons, a photo editor, at The Seattle Times, Silico’s hometown newspaper.

“I was surprised and shocked,” said Fitzsimmons. “These types of photos weren’t being taken or shown by the media.”

Prior to Silicio’s photograph, images of coffins bearing the bodies of fallen soldiers in route from Iraq were all but absent from news coverage.

A ban, in place since the Persian Gulf War, prohibited “media coverage of deceased military personnel returning to or departing from air bases” to protect the privacy of servicemen and their families.

“This photograph wasn’t a political statement or run for sensationalism, casualties are a reality of war,” said Fitzsimmons. “Hiding these types of images didn’t make sense.”

A powerful image of loss, Silicio’s photograph renewed fierce debate about the ban and its relevance.

“It was a difficult time,” said Cole Porter, former Director of Photography at The Seattle Times. “The public didn’t want to see images of dead American soldiers, yet many were very intrigued by the photo.”

According to Fitzsimmons, the response The Seattle Times received from the public was split down the middle.

“Of the 500 or so e-mails we received about the photo, about 250 were for it and 250 were against it,” Fitzsimmons said. “Reactions ranged from proud to angry.”

One reaction exemplified the impact of Silicio’s photograph.

“I got a call from the woman at the reception desk a few days after the photo ran,” said Fitzsimmons. “She told me that a man had come in and bought two copies of the Sunday paper. He explained through tears that he was a Vietnam veteran and the photo had given him closure.”

Like the public, most journalists were supportive of what The Seattle Times had done.

“We published the photo on the front page because it was front page news,” said Fitzsimmons. “It was an image the public hadn’t seen for a long time and many people weren’t aware of the pomp and circumstance that went on.”

After Fitzsimmons felt confident in the photograph’s origins and authenticity — after a dozen phone calls and nearly 40 e-mails — he and his colleagues spent several days thinking about the photograph and discussing how to publish it.

One question in particular arose from conversations about the photograph. Should the photograph stand alone?

In the end, an A1 story accompanied the photograph to provide context.

“If you want to have real impact, you have to tell the story of a photo,” said Porter. “What was behind the photo was as telling as the photo itself.”

A habit of vetting everything very carefully guided the editorial process in the newsroom. Nothing went undiscussed, any and every question was asked.

The Seattle Times was incredibly conservative in 2004, according to Fitzsimmons. The paper didn’t run photographs of dead bodies “period.”

After 11 days, “period” lost its place at The Seattle Times when Silicio’s photograph was published.

“I don’t think the paper would have run the photo of the Blackwater contractors at all prior to publication of Tami’s photo,” said Fitzsimmons. “It ran on Page 3 in black and white.”

If published today, Porter said that he believes the power of the photograph would still be the same, only the circumstances would be different.

“My only regret — I don’t think I’ve ever said this to anyone — is that we didn’t run the photo larger,” said Fitzsimmons.

From http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/200901/good-sex-is-good-relationships

I came across an article today titled, “Is Marriage Good for your Health?” written by Tara Parker-Pope of The New York Times. When people ask me about marriage, I tell them that I’m not sure I believe in it. They immediately ask me my age and then proceed to reassure me that I’m just young and that “I’ll get there.” Maybe I will and maybe I won’t, only time will tell. What I do know, having shared an apartment with a long-term boyfriend in the not too distant past, is that living with or even dating a guy often takes a toll on your waistline. He eats more than you do, eats more often than you do, doesn’t gain weight as easily as you do and doesn’t exercise nearly as much you do. Plus, he may wine and dine you, leaving less time for exercise. Yet you adjust your eating habits and lifestyle to match his. Not because you have to, but because you love him and want to co-exist in a relaxed, happy environment. Lauren Conrad calls this the “boyfriend layer.” Unfortunately, your body has different needs than his and overeating and lying around watching sports or playing video games will eventually take a toll.

It’s important to remember that it’s not him that needs to change, but you who needs to maintain your routines. OK, a little less beer and little more exercise wouldn’t kill him, but that’s not the point. You need to continue to eat well and exercise despite what he does or doesn’t do.

1.) Be sure to sure to make your own plate to control portion size. Or, ask him to be aware that you can’t eat as much as him and to serve accordingly.

2.) Turn down that second beer while watching a movie. I kept my own bottle of wine, so I wouldn’t be stuck with heavy, filling beer. Wine is by far the “healthiest” alcohol (meaning least caloric and with some health benefits) you can consume.

3). If you have trouble resisting sweets, ask him not to eat them in front of you. Or, set a limit on how many you can eat a week. Whatever it takes to keep you from eating what and when he does.

4.) Continue to be active. Go for long walks or take him to the gym with you. A couple that’s active together, stays together (or so I’d like to think!). Getting out and getting your blood flowing will make you enjoy the quiet moments even more.

No matter how serious your relationship, you should always make time for yourself and what makes you happy. Finding ways to compromise or include your significant other is a great when it works out, but you’re not always going to agree on everything. Maybe you like to run and he’s more of a biking or swimming kind of guy. Neither of you should give up your routines for the other. The same goes for food. You don’t have to eat pizza and wings just because he does. Cook/prepare what you like and keeps you trim. He can join in or make his own meals! Bottom line, don’t lay your healthy lifestyle on the relationship altar. You won’t be happy and neither will he.

Mmmm, breakfast for dinner. Also known as brinner. Breakfast is often my favorite meal of the day. When done right (meaning healthy), breakfast is filling without being heavy and nutritious without being overly caloric. Having breakfast foods for dinner is a great way to mix up the usual routine and have something unexpected. This was my dinner tonight:

Oatmeal with peaches and blueberries, lime yogurt and fresh grapes (Photo by Anna Miars)

Some of my favorite breakfast meals, whether eaten in the morning or at night, are:

***I’ve included links to my preferred brands.

Oatmeal with fresh or frozen fruit. I add frozen peaches, strawberries and blueberries to plain instant oatmeal. A little drizzle of honey is the finishing touch.

Whole wheat waffles with peanut butter and banana. A great mix of carbs/fiber, protein and fruit. This can be made with bread and grilled (Elvis’ favorite). Perfect anytime day or night.

Whole wheat English muffins with peanut butter and honey. Two whole wheat English muffins with a light spread of creamy peanut butter and a drizzle of honey are filling and satisfying.

Cheerios with fresh fruit and yogurt. Cheerios with a cup of skim milk and blueberries or a sliced banana is quick and simple. A side of nonfat yogurt adds protein.

Other breakfast for dinner ideas, a little fancier than mine:

10 Ways to Eat Brinner (Breakfast for Dinner)

MSN’s Delish: Breakfast for Dinner

Rachel Ray’s 30 Minute Meals: Breakfast for Dinner

Martha’s Quick Breakfast-for-Dinner Recipes

Enjoy!